So your partner is about to have your child and you’ve heard a lot, (how could you not?) about how breastfeeding is the best.
Thing is you’ve also heard it has disadvantages, heard not everyone can do it and your worried. You want your kid to get all the good stuff, you want your partner to get it too. It’s a tricky mind space to be in.
Human milk champion
So what can you do? What if you make yourself a pretty awesome repository of information about human milk and breastfeeding? Have you heard it takes a village to raise a child? Some of that is information, and you are well placed to be the one to consume it and replay it when needed.
New parents are filled with doubts, there isn’t a handy guide that comes out with the baby after all. But breastfeeding, there are lots of principles that when learned, can cut away lots of worry.
The vast majority of women, when well supported and informed, can fully feed their babies needs. There are some things that might delay the full milk coming in, why not start reading about them here.
What if you learn the mechanics of milk production? Remind your partner when they are confused about their breasts feeling hard and full, that they need to empty them to make more milk because the fuller they are, the more messages are sent back to the brain to make less milk.
When the baby wants to feed hour after hour, remind them they are literally growing a human from their body & how much you appreciate them riding the growth spurts. Then bring them cake.
When your baby or partner is struggling, don’t be afraid to get them skilled support. There is lots of help out there, if you know where to look. You can also search ‘breastfeeding support’ and ‘your town’ to find services near you. There are different roles, some are free, some are not, read more the types here. .
Many parents feel that without a bottle to feed, there won’t be a special time with your baby?
Understanding that neurology, your baby needs your partner more than you (mostly) to grow that big brain as big as it can be but that doesnt mean you have to be left out.
This research shows early skin to skin with your baby can help YOU to bond, some research suggests it changes your brain and lowers YOUR chance of having postnatal mood disorders.
Although I have been careful to assume how you identify, the world lags behind, replace father for whatever phrase you identify with, the effects are likely to be true for us all.
Some patents make bath time their thing, or baby massage. Some partners do an early morning walk whilst their partner rests. Some pop on a sling and teach their baby about their hobby.
If you want one to equal the warmth and comfort of milk and mum, get your hands on a sling or carrier (carrying matters sling guide) and master it now, before the baby comes.
When carried, babies cry 43% less (stats) and adding movement & the familiar sounds of your voice usually = a quiet content baby. Find out more about slings here – from a GP and carrying expert.
So if you come home to a frantic partner and frazzled baby, you know what to do!
You are a team
Stand up for your partners goals if you have a family member or friend undermining you. Maybe you will even have the fact to disabuse uncle bob, that your baby is not using your partner as a dummy.
This time in your child’s life is fleeting and the extra care of your partner now, will pay off for decades to come. If you have a girl, your grandchildren will one day benefit from your partner breastfeeding as her eggs are already within your unborn child.
Mostly, remember you are a team and when times get tough, remember you both want the best for you all.
We do the best you can, with the info and resources you have available to us at the time. We all have our limits, if you need extra support, seek it.
Your baby, and your partner don’t need you to be perfect, just good enough.